Sat Nam, Friends.
For the sake of transparancy, I want to share a personal story with you, and the reason behind why I created Restoring Power in the first place.
Even as I sit down to type this I am filled with uncomfortable emotions, squirming in my chair, wondering where to begin. How much to tell? How can I sugar coat this story?
As many of you know I have spent over half my life healing from chronic lyme disease, and I certainly experienced a certain kind of despair that comes when you are losing your life as you know it to chronic illness. But beyond that I also experienced those common (they shouldn't be) experiences of disempowerment as a young girl growing up in a culture that likes to hyper sexualize and distort a womans true nature.
A few years ago along my healing journey I began working with an ND/shaman who began to help me uncover body memories of being sexually asaulted. The physical and emotional pain of lying on her table and having these old traumas resurface was agony, and I couldn't- and still don't- remember the situation with perfect clarity. This was the beginning of healing a part of myself I had neglected- the sacred, divine feminine within myself.
Since that time I've been on a deep exploration of what true Power looks like: how do we "lose" it? Is it really possible for somebody to "take it away"?
The truth that I've found is that we are infinite beings whose essence can never be truly taken away from us, but we can be made to feel like it has.
One on three women experiences sexual assault. One in three. I've met so many women who have some version of my story- and many whose stories are worse.
And many more women still, who have not experienced this physical violation but feel the energetic burden passed down from their mothers generations and a world where for a very long time, the ability for a woman to truly, freely express herself has been denied on many levels.
For a while I thought about joining various types of support groups and womens circles, but apart from spending time with my closest female friends, nothing felt right.
I decided to do what I've been doing for half my life, be my own healer. I began writing, and my cathartic writing turned into a book. (The book was incidentally lost when my computer was recently stolen, and I took it as a sign that there was another way I could share the insights and teachings I had been learning to heal myself.)
And so Restoring Power was born. Grounded in the tradition of kundalini yoga, an advanced system of body mind techniques to connect us with our physical body, its wisdom, and the subtle energy bodies which are equally as important. I decided to use the shamanic visualizations and journeying techniques that my ND had taught me, and then utilize my own gifts, of sharing these teachings, holding space, and intuitively seeing what, where and how things need healing.
Even though I have blocked out clear memories of my assault, my body remembers. And when we listen to our bodies, they heal. Being seen and loved is the highest form of healing.
We restore power by the grace of our infinite self. We restore power by remembering our true nature when we have forgotten. We restore power when we refuse to carry shame, guilt and fear. We restore our power when we choose to embrace the dark within us with compassion as well as the beauty and light. We restore power when we acknowledge we are already whole. We restore our power when we choose to love ourselves beyond measure. We restore our power when we choose to love ourselves beyond measure.
We restore our power when we share and then let go of our stories. When we let our stories shape and birth us into the magnificent people we are, now.
What stories are ready to be seen, released and let go in your when you read my words? I'd love to hear them.
Registration closes for Restoring Power: A 40 Day Healing Kundalini Transformation tonight March 30th at midnight PST. Learn more or sign up for the course.