On Love-- Becoming Whole


We are already whole, and it is by loving ourselves, and allowing a greater love move through us that we know that wholeness.

I’m transitioning out of an intensive women’s retreat here in Ibiza, Spain. I spent the week honoring, healing and claiming the feminine (and masculine!) within myself along with 15 other women. After a week of sweat, tears and laughter, we ended our retreat with a powerful ceremony in which each of us married ourselves. 

As each woman stood in front of our group and read their vows to themselves, the room was filled with a palpable transformation to wholeness. One by one we acknowledged our light and our dark and promised to love, accept, honor and celebrate ourselves in ways unique to our spirit.

Many of us are drawn to the spiritual path because we feel an intrinsic need to be healed, or to feel whole on some level. This instinct is our souls way of guiding us to fulfillment in this life time.

But we don’t need to do, fix or change anything about ourselves in order to be whole, we just need to remember and follow a path which reminds us that we are love.

Love is like the glue which all of our self-help efforts stick to. If we don’t have a sense of deep love for ourselves, of knowing of our wholeness through love, all our efforts are in vain. The beauty routine, exercises regimen, healthy eating plan or any discipline we undertake will provide results which will make no true lasting impact in our lives.

Love gathers up our scared, fragmented pieces of heart and mind and says “It’s okay, you have permission to exist. Whatever darkness you feel inside of you, I love you anyway.” That is how we become whole; through acceptance, through illuminating all aspects of ourself without discrimination between light and dark, positive and negative.

We are so influenced by the culture at large which tells us that we are not enough. This creates a confusing rift in our honest search: we are seeking and living our way towards experiencing our wholeness while at the same time being told that we are not inherently whole and that we have to work for and earn it, either through religious or spiritual dogmas or through the demands of success defined by our culture.

We can improve ourselves unto infinity, but if we don’t have an understanding of what being whole is or how it feels, then we will continue manipulating and controlling our lives from a fear of being out of balance, not out of a love or understanding of being who we really are.

Beneath this paradox of “not enough-ness” are the roots of original sin, of cutting away the human being from the Divine. The split and creation of a hierarchy between masculine and feminine. This subtle, all pervasive belief can only shift when we as individuals end The War Of Not Enough for ourselves.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel and express, but we have to feel safe in order to open to love.


A ritual for wholeness:

Come into a space of meditation either sitting or lying down. Place a hand on your heart and focusing your awareness into your body, your own mind. Give yourself permission to relax and let go of thoughts of past and future.

Place one hand on your heart. Begin to lengthen and slow down the pace of your breath, breathing in to a count of 4-6 and out for a count of 4-6.

Visualize and sense a warmth at your chest underneath your palm. Feel that this warmth radiates love throughout your being. Continue breathing as you grow this warmth and love until it encompasses your entire body.

With your hand still on your heart, say a silent or spoken prayer, invoking and bringing all parts of yourself past and present back to love.


In the name of the love which I am, I now call on all lost, forgotten or fragmented parts of myself, so that they may return to me in love, guiding me to remember my true Divine nature. As I welcome all parts of my being back home, I open my heart in gratitude for the lessons of their leaving, and in so doing receive the blessing of becoming whole. I forgive, love, honor and respect myself. For the benefit and highest good of all beings everywhere, so it is.



Where are you inviting love and wholeness back into your life right now?

What are your pearls of wisdom for your own experience?

Send me a message, leave me a comment and as always share these words with the ones you love.

In Love,